Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Day 44: Depends....like the Diapers.

So today at lunch Steve, Will, Pat, Shannon and myself were all sitting in our "lunch room" having some food when all of a sudden the conversation got interesting. The next thing we knew one person was sharing stories of their college/dorm years and all of the crazy things they did. One story involved a competition with fellow dorm-folk and the classic adult diaper Depends.

Here's how it goes:

These dorm people had to put on a diaper and wear it during the day. The first person to go in their diaper would win.....brownie points to the one who could poop first (pun so intended). This is a totally disgusting story, however now the camp "fun police" have it in their heads to have this type of competition one day. EW! I don't think it would really happen, but just the thought of not going to the bathroom at all during an 8 hour day makes me feel sick. And by "to the bathroom" I mean the room....not the doing.

Also today I learned that Will (the big boss) is actually very funny! Especially when he has food in his tummy! He also treats me like one of his own kids....today I got a slap on the head with a letter. Not in a bad/mean way, just in a father-like way. Sorry dad, you've been replaced with my new-improved office dad :(

In other news this week is moving week! We are thrilled to be leaving our apartment, just not so thrilled about the actual moving part. But so far we have many people who have offered to help us out! Although something tells me they are really just in it for the pizza......hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Work is work right now. It's quiet right now in the office, something that I hate. I am trying to update the database without messing it up. So far I have success, but we will see when registration time comes.

That's all for now.

Just promise me that when you use Depends, don't share this information with your friends. It's kind of gross.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Day 42: God Bless Fridays!

Today is Friday. I love it!

I don't really have much to tell you. Today was a quiet day in the office because Steve and Shannon were both out all morning and Pat and Melissa don't work on Fridays. It was just me and good old Clifford!

I did a lot of work on our Bible Ex stuff today, Shannon even liked my ideas! I am so thankful that it's coming along nicely! Hopefully in the next few weeks we can finalize it all. I am really hoping that the whole video thing will work out! We have a few ideas (either something like GLEE or having people go on a canoe trip). Both ideas are fun!

Right now I am just trying to pass time by keeping myself busy. Tomorrow is a crazy day. Marc and I are doing a show.....we need to practice lots tonight. Not to mention my big boss is coming to see it, so we have to impress him with it.

Stress Stress Stress

We move in 1 week. We are so not ready for it. Something else to add to our stress level.

But one thing I know is that GOD IS GOOD! Which is why we have Fridays!

See you on Monday!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Day 41: Thoughts

So far this blog has been about fun around the office, nothing too deep to make the head hurt. But today I feel as though I should write about something important.

Camp Arnes has been around for many years (60 to be exact) and there have been many lives changed because of camp (like ours and others). I feel so blessed to be a part of something like this and the fact that I do play a role in bringing kids to camp to hear the Good News! I am also excited because I am also helping to create the Bible Ex material for our campers to have and to experience while they are at camp. It has been really challenging because my brain is working on overtime and I just can't seem to get it right. Knowing this also makes me so happy. I know that God has great things planned for the 2010 summer up at camp! And the fact that He wants me to search and put effort in to what the campers will be taught is a rewarding feeling. It is hard, but in the end I know that it will be worth it!

Today I am working on this very thing because Shannon (my boss) and I have been having a rough go of it. I won't give anything away but I am working on the topic idea "how the world sees us as people verses how God sees us as people". When I have a real brain fart I run my ideas through google. This always leads me to the yahoo answers. Sometimes I read them, sometimes I don't, today I decided to because I was so stuck.

The Question: How does God see us as His children?

There were many answers, but take a look at what one person wrote. (sorry it's so long, but it is very interesting)

"You'd be surprised!

The Bible writers created the story of the Jewish God that is worshipped by gullible Christians today mainly in America. This God forced the Jews to eat their own children for dinner NOT AS A PUNISHMENT, but as an option in times of famine. Not even as an option, but as the “WILL OF GOD!” God NEVER objected about slaughtering and cooking children for dinner. God won’t let the Jews eat pigs, but children YES! The Preachers are very dishonest people always covering up anything negative in the Bible! They do it to protect their source of income! I dropped out of Christianity and religion after many years serving in the Christian ministry! The Bible was written to control low IQ religious people who need to pay a 10% (TITHE) crutch to function in this world. Any religion back then was as barbaric as you can’t possibly imagine. The Bible is a hangover from those days...

God is totally powerless to teach any lesson without FORCING the Jews to eat their own children for dinner. The Bible writers say that Palestine was a “Land Flowing with Milk and Honey” ONLY before the Israelite invasion. The former dwellers used to live in plenty! After the invasion SURPRISE!!! suddenly the “milk and honey” stopped flowing! So now the Bible writers are promising to Israel that “God will make the desert to blossom like a rose!” The perennial carrot hanging at the end of the stick is working!

God’s sadistic pleasures are the kinkiest ones ever to be imagined! None of the “Godless” dictators in the world EVER thought of forcing his people to eat their own children for dinner...! That is so repulsive that no smut publication is publishing anything like that either, but any pervert preacher can discreetly enjoy reading all about it in the Holy Bible! The rest of Christians are totally brainwashed with the GOD IS LOVE bit! No wonder the Clergy hid the Bible from public view for so many centuries! To their great relief hardly any Christian today pays attention to what they read in the Bible!

Leviticus 26:29 - (God is impatiently saying) YOU WILL eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters* (*without warning of any evil! Christians are trained to believe that no matter how pervert it may sound “if God says it I believe it… and that settles it!”)

Deuteronomy 28:53-57 - Because of the suffering that your enemy will inflict on you during the siege* (*God is conditioning the mind of the Israelites 700 Bible years into the future! In our society today anybody promoting the idea of any crime like that is put in jail!), YOU WILL EAT THE FRUIT OF THE WOMB, THE FLESH OF THE SONS AND DAUGHTERS the LORD your God has given you* (*God WILL NOT do anything to protect the innocent children, but his chosen people will enjoy eating them…! Praise the LORD! Sweet Jesus… Amen?) Even the most gentle and sensitive man* (*not a sinful homosexual or a Godless atheist, but a CHOSEN CHILD OF GOD!) among you will have no compassion on his own brother or the wife he loves or his SURVIVING children, and he will not give to one of them any of the flesh of his children that he is eating…* (*Not sharing is “THE SIN”! Only repugnant wanking perverts would write anything like this in a religious book like the Bible!)

Jeremiah 19:9 I* (*God, NOT SATAN, but GOD!) WILL MAKE THEM EAT THE FLESH OF THEIR SONS AND DAUGHTERS* (This sick God has to FORCE the Jews to eat their own children! During the real historic Roman siege of “Masada” [do Google] all the Jewish families killed themselves before even dreaming about eating their own children!)

God won’t force the Jews to eat PIGS, but their own children YES! The Bible writers say that when the 666 mark will be instituted Christians won’t be able to buy or sell food without it. Based on Bible precedents, will the heart bleeding Christians of the Westboro orientation eat their own children for dinner? Christians would deny it or say that if God forced the Jews to do it, it was because the Jews were very “sinful”!

Ezekiel 5:10 - Therefore in your midst fathers WILL EAT THEIR CHILDREN...

Any kind of secular government would offer its citizens better protection than the Bible God. They would certainly allow them to eat pork instead of children! It took Moses 2 men to carry a single cluster of gigantic size grapes to show Israel how plentiful was the Land of Palestine that they were going to invade (Num 13:23)! It was a trick in the Bible script to motivate well fed Jews into COVETING* (*the heck with the 10 Commands!) to leave Egypt and to invade the Holy Land of plenty! (BTW, there is not a shred of historical evidence that millions of slave Jews ever lived in Egypt, but what the heck!) Now the Jews can eat their own children in the Holy Land for God’s kinky pleasure! Actually, for the pleasure of the wanking Bible writers and some discreet Bible readers today!

Lamentations 4:10 - With their own hands COMPASSIONATE WOMEN* (*GODLY WOMEN…! Not lesbians or atheistic ladies, but “MANY” God loving heterosexual ladies) HAVE COOKED THEIR OWN CHILDREN...!

Here is a case in FULL EXPLICIT CONTEXT in the Bible that is IMPOSSIBLE for any Preacher to “spiritualize” and make it go away!

2 Kings 6:26-29 As the king of Israel was passing by on the wall, a woman cried to him, “Help me, my lord the king* (*a God related King)!” The king replied, “If the Lord does not help you, where can I get help for you? Then he asked her, “What's the matter?” She answered, “This woman said to me, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him today, and tomorrow we'll eat my son.’ So we cooked my son and ate him* (*BTW… it came out delicious!). The next day I said to her, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him, but she had hidden him!* (*God cursed woman! She cheated!)

They were all COMPASSIONATE Godly, non-Atheistic, heterosexual women that HAVE SLAUGHTERED AND COOKED THEIR OWN CHILDREN FOR DINNER at the tune of “The LORD is my Shepherd I shall not want” (Psa 23)!

Isaiah 49:15 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I* (*God) WILL NOT FORGET YOU!* (*I’ll make her eat the child! Hey, not even Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde is that scary! God must have a serious psychopathic disorder and ought to see a shrink or rather put the Bible writers in jail!)

The last bunch of Bible writers claim that God the Son Jesus Christ was beaten to a pulp thoroughly tenderized and heavily marinated in Roman soldiers’ spit to become the dignified “Lamb of God” grotesquely nailed totally naked to the Holy Cross to cleanse the World from “sin.” BTW, the Roman soldiers never dressed the genital area of their victims with a white diaper! The Christians snack Jesus ROMAN SPIT FLAVORED MEAT AND DRINK HIS HOLY BLOOD to go to Heaven when they die! (John 6:53) The eating of children is part of the BIBLE tale so the forever snacking on the Jesus Christ in the Holy Communion is not half that bad!

The Bible writers say that God’s enemies ought to be killed in their infancy when it is easier to get rid of them (Amen?)
Psalm 137:8-9 - O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction, HAPPY is he who repays you for what you have done to us* (*Holy Vendetta! The heck with “giving the other cheek!”) --he who seizes your infants and DASHES them against the rocks.

Needed abortions today are for HUMANE reasons! Only the fetus is destroyed not a born child! God requires that the children be dashed to pieces or slaughters and cooked for dinner after they are born! God’s Chosen People are promised to ravish some horny ladies while slaughtering their children!

Isaiah 13:16 (KJV) Their little ones also WILL BE DASHED TO PIECES before their eyes; Their houses will be plundered And their wives ravished…. (the wanking Bible writers claim that some ladies of God’s enemies will be ravished to their delight while their children are being DASHED TO PIECES – God is conditioning the mind of his chosen people for this sort of depravity!)

God the Son Jesus Christ is hardly any better than his Daddy God!

Revelation 2:23 (In his apocalyptic “revelation” Jesus Christ says) I WILL STRIKE HER CHILDREN DEAD* (*No abortionist can beat Jesus at killing babies --not destroying fetuses, but killing children! God the Father forced Israel to eat their children for dinner now God the Son Jesus Christ promised to kill the children in the wrong Churches so they can learn a lesson on WHO IS THE BOSS. To add insult to injury, preachers are getting rich selling books on Jesus’ love for the little children of the world! Today, Jesus Christ would be in jail for bullying about killing any child to favor a particular brand of faith!) Then ALL THE CHURCHES WILL KNOW that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.* (*Not even the Mafia talks like that in public!)

The bottom line is that the Bible was written by a bunch of wanking perverts. Christians are brainwashed to disregard all the crap in the Bible that they hardly read!"

I read this and was so surprised. I just couldn't get over the fact that this young person felt this way about God and the Bible. And that fact that they were previously involved in Christianity (not sure to what degree or what denomination). All I wanted to do was to write to them and let them know that they had totally taken these passages out of context. I am no Bible scholar and I really have a hard time understanding it sometimes, but God would never force a person to eat their own child. I looked up some of the passages this person quoted and read them in context, they had a totally different meaning.

My heart broke for this person and others out in the world like them. They are missing out on the best possible thing that we could ever have while living on earth. And because they misread something.

This got me thinking about the question everyone has "why do bad things happen to good people? and why does God let it happen?"

I hate this question, but I understand why people ask it. I am a Christian and bad things happen to me. But the things that have happened to me happened either because of my bad decisions and for the fact that I have sinned OR because of the natural ways of the world. Loved ones in my own life have died and for "unfair" reasons, but I know with my whole heart that God did not punish my aunt because of her sin and He did not give her cancer.

Bad things happen to us because our world is so full of sin and because people are full of sin. If God had it His way nothing bad would ever happen to us, no matter what our faith is. But it's because He gave us free choice so we wouldn't have to be like robots (thank goodness for that!!!).

It's a simple answer, but it's the one that I believe.

Getting back to what this writer wrote as their answer (in response to other people answering this same question). If you read these verses in context there is one underlying issue. (Again I will say that I am not a Bible scholar and these are my own views and opinions.) The same theme that flows through all of these passages is SIN. A simple, three letter word that people seem to forget about.

Bad things happen to "good" people because of sin, not because of God.

These are my thoughts. I would love to hear yours.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Day 36: What is Up With This Office?

So on Monday I quoted good old Office Space the movie, and the office has been crazy quiet for the last THREE days. I have no idea what is wrong with everyone, but it sounds like work is actually getting done here.

Today I got to experience Microsoft Office Publisher 2003. It is crazy hard to figure out how to do things the best and most efficient way. That said, it only took me half of the day (give or take) to create from scratch a family camp registration form. I am pretty darn impressed with myself. And I gave my boss the great idea that we should keep it as a folded type brochure looking thing, only because that's how I created it in the first place (after a million tries).

Also today I got to make up camper quotes. Easy, you might think. But how many different ways can you come up with "Camp was amazing I loved it!"??? It was hard, but in the end I managed to squeeze out 30 different fake quotes campers might have said to us during the 2009 summer.

On a personal note, I am still sick, which forced me to head to bed at 7pm last night and then sleep for pretty much the next 12 hours. Who does that? Especially what 23 year old goes to bed that early? My mom, who is in her 50's goes to bed around that time every night, but she also gets up earlier. Am I really that lame that I must (and I mean must) go to bed at an early hour. I miss my days of college dorm life when there was no bed time, you just slept all day long!

Marc and I are meeting with a lawyer on Sunday (we are missing church because of it) and paying the huge fee of closing costs to them. Who knew it would be so much?!?!? When we met with a guy at the bank regarding our mortgage back in early September, he said it shouldn't be more then $3,000. WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP! It is not anywhere close to that. Stupid bank. The good news is that we still have the house! And that's what counts, right Joanne?????

Well, the office is almost closed for the day and my brain is fried. I wonder what I will do once I am home????? (.................sleep...............)

Until next time!

Office Girl Out!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Day 34: The Case of the Mondays

Well it is officially 5:15pm and I am still at the office! This makes me sound so good, but I really got here at 2pm today. I had an eye appointment, which took forever and so I have decided to stay until 6pm to make up for lost time....and to get paid for at least half a day!

An update:
I was sick all weekend, and slept most of it. I did miss Friday at work because I needed to sleep, but it was SO worth it! Saturday I was still tired and sick but I managed to pull myself together to pack up some of our belongings. Now our apartment looks horrible because it's full of cardboard boxes. Sunday was a long day....we were at church from 9-4 basically. But the Christmas production is coming along nicely!

Work today was fine. It was quiet in the office, I am not feeling well and Melissa is only working Tuesdays and Thursdays from now on, and I think Cliff was out running errands for part of the afternoon. I just think we all had a case of the Mondays (thank you Office Space!).

I actually got a lot done today! Right now Marc is in talks with doing a drama program at camp this summer, for a few weeks in August, and I have been working on the Bible Ex material. So far it's kind of lame and cheesey because I have to relate it to the Bible and drama, but the connections are there.

I also read part of a book, for research to help me understand teenagers for Bible Ex. It's called DO HARD THINGS by Alex and Brett Harris. So far it's great! Although I still don't really understand teens. Wait! Wasn't I one just a few years ago?!?!?!?!

I even answered the phone today! Two people called while I was at work, well actually it was the same guy calling twice. So technically I guess it was only one.

Right now I am just passing the time and taking a thinking break. I think I have earned one!

The Office Girl